When I heard for the first time about the so-called “culture
shock syndrome”, I would have never imagined that it could happen to me as well.
Shocked by a culture? Why? I have always been curious and passionate about
cultural diversity. Since my internship in Tanzania, I have often traveled
experiencing local life, food, and accommodation, and I have been used staying
in unfamiliar cultural and linguistic settings as well as making friends
with local people. I have been trained in anthropology, I have worked with immigrants
in Italy, and many of my friends have an immigrant background too. I definitely
love engaging in cultural diversity. When culture shock happened to me, I had
to realize that I completely misconceived what “culture shock” is and I realized
that cultural adaptation has various stages, some of which might be tough.
Discovering the truth of culture shock
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| The neighborhood of Naya Bazaar at sunset time * |
Culture shock has little to do with “culture” in the
academic sense. Most of all, it has to do with the stressors coming from living
in an unfamiliar environment. It is not caused by obvious cultural differences
such as food, language, beliefs, rituals, social practices, communication, and
interaction patterns. Culture shock, particularly in migrants and expats, is
the result of a combination of stressful life conditions and unmet
expectations. Of course, social practices and lifestyle might affect the way
the environment is impacting on us: noises, hazards, annoying little things,
can be an important source of stress. Before leaving, I knew that my lifestyle
in Kathmandu will have been significantly different from my lifestyle in Milan,
but I felt self-confident and ready to cope with this change. In the first two
months, I didn’t realize how subtly some stressors were affecting my emotional
balance: I felt fully motivated and prepared to face all the challenges and
difficulties found in the new environment. Excitement and energy were very
high, and I couldn’t see how tired and stressed I was slowly becoming.
When in Kathmandu, I was able to feel well included in the
work setting and I also had some social life and recreational activities in my
spare time. I was used to attending Nepalese dance classes and enjoying some food
and coffee in my favorite places. I practiced stretching and some meditation
every morning. I was amazed by going to Buddhist temples and very excited to
explore new places. I definitely loved Nepalese food and I have been able to
learn how to cook some basic recipe. I found myself very at ease chilling in
the only gay-friendly bar in town and to get connected with local people.
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| Ranibari Community Forest: a rare green spot in Kathmandu |
Nevertheless, I wasn’t aware of how stressful it was to adapt
to the new environment. I missed very much green spots here in Kathmandu. I
really enjoyed having long walks when in Milan, both to unwind my mind and to
keep my body active. When I was walking here in Kathmandu, I realized that it was
not definitely a relaxing activity. Besides, the neighborhood where I lived,
Naya Bazaar, was very crowded and noisy, though very interesting from an
anthropological point of view. Sleeping was (and still continue to be) often
interrupted by various disturbances, most of all caused by stray dogs barking
loudly outside my window. During the daytime, they are definitely lovely and
friendly, but during the night (despite the best earplugs) they become my nightmare.
At the same time, I wasn’t aware of how much unmet
expectations have caused me stress. Some of the plans that I made before
transferring to Nepal, needed to be changed or completely abandoned because of excessive
costs or unfavorable conditions. For instance, traveling around Nepal, having
instruments to play music or some weekend in a quiet and comfortable place. In
the workplace, though two months and a half had already passed, I started
realizing how hard it was having any sort of impact around. As a volunteer project
manager, I didn’t have direct responsibilities and power on staff and projects
and this made me felt disempowered and ineffective.
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| Stray dog's daytime activity: sunbath |
The first emerging feelings related to culture shock were
homesickness and demotivation. I suddenly started missing my friends and my
regular lifestyle, my flat, the places I used to go when in Milan, and feeling
less self-confident in the workplace, unable to see the sense and direction of
what I was doing. When the excitement and the energy of the beginning faded
away, I felt a sort of emotional collapse. Sadness, sense of disempowerment,
impatience, and irritability came to complete all the typical symptoms of the
syndrome. I ended up seeing only the negative side of being in Nepal, and I felt
trapped. I was really tempted to give up and to leave the country. On the other
side, I found this temptation unreasonable. I was emotionally challenged by the
stressors, but I didn’t want to lose the chance of learning how to cope with them
and to see what was next.
Since the beginning, I thought it was a good idea to inform
my sending organization about my emotional state. I talked to my line manager in
Estonia about my feelings and I finally figured out what I was going through.
Then I talked to close friends, some of whom had similar volunteering
experiences abroad. Finally, I also informed my mentor in my hosting
organization about it. Everybody was very understanding and supportive. I
started feeling a little bit relieved by knowing what my problem was. I was not
doing bad: I was only stressed. I just needed to become aware of my state and to
apply some coping strategies to adjust my balance.
My way to cope with culture shock
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| Little Buddhas carved on stone in Swayambunath stupa's area |
After I accepted to fully embrace this challenge, culture
shock’s symptoms seemed to fade away. Anyway, it was just a temporary effect. Though
aware of my situation, in the following weeks, I experienced ups and downs. During
that time, I alternatively considered opposite options such as shortening my deployment
versus staying until the end. Of course, discomforts haven’t changed: stressors
were still there as before. Nevertheless, I slowly started perceiving them
differently and feeling as an active agent of change, not as a victim.
Dreams came to help me as well. One of them was particularly
intense and enlightening. It made me realize that I couldn’t escape the
challenge of adaptation wherever I have moved to, even my favorite place.
Adaptation difficulties were just a consequence of a precise choice: engaging
in the development and humanitarian work. Thus, they were unavoidable. I started seeing
all the pieces of the puzzle and refocusing on my motivation: why I am here? On
the other side, I started mitigating the stressors, taking care of my feelings,
and engaging in relieving activities.
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| With Michaela and colleagues at Christmas Eve dinner (P.c. M. Edmonds) |
Christmas time was approaching: a period typically marked by
extreme joy or sadness for many people who have a Christian background. My flatmate and colleague, Michaela, was writing greetings cards, and, inspired by
her, I decided to do the same to mitigate my homesickness. I enjoyed it very
much, from choosing the cards to writing and posting them. They haven’t arrived
yet after more than one month, but this is another issue. Besides, I decided to
take my meditation practice more seriously. Training the mind to focus on the
present time helps to avoid negative thoughts and wanders. I didn’t forget that
Kathmandu gives a unique chance to connect with Tibetan Buddhism: I started
appreciating the opportunity to visit Swayambunath and Boudhanath temples on a
regular basis. Both of them have always had a positive impact on my wellbeing
and nurtured my spiritual life.
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| Coffee time with a friend in a nice place in Thamel |
Friends and colleagues to whom I disclosed my situation, were
definitely supportive during that time. I appreciated having an Italian
colleague living with me: I realized how important was speaking my mother
tongue as well as having a good rapport with her. I found particularly
important sharing ideas, feelings, and ritual moments like Christmas and New
Year’s Eve with other European volunteers. The fact of sharing a similar
background, made me feel closer to the Christmas atmosphere that I used to know
back in Italy. At the same time, little daily activities such as cooking and
doing laundry, became an important source of relief, exactly as looking for a
quiet and comfortable place in town where meeting a friend, having a
conversation, or drinking a coffee. Being ironical and using humor with myself and
with what I considered funny around me, helped me to cope with the daily stress
too. At the end of the day, laughing is definitely an important source of
dopamine and a counterstrategy to reduce stress.
What is exactly culture shock?
Two months have already passed by the time I started feeling
the first symptoms. Around one month ago, thanks to my sending organization Mondo,
I had the chance of having a Skype session with a therapist. It was definitely a
useful chance to get feedback from a specialist: I finally knew that I was on
the right track with my coping strategies. Regarding the role of culture in the
culture shock, as I mentioned above, I can say that is not what is supposed to
be. I haven’t been “culture shocked” because Nepalese people venerate a female
child as a living goddess (the so-called “kumari”), they sacrifice animals during
Hindu rituals or they let dogs and cows going around freely. Neither because
people eat with hands and get rice three times a day as it was mentioned in the
list of things giving culture shock in Nepal on a blog.
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| The moon behind Boudhanath stupa at sunset time |
Of course, there are some recurrent behaviors that annoy me
here, like spitting mucus out loudly and continuously or cars and motorbikes driving
crazily with no rules, but I can’t definitely relate them to “culture”: they
are mostly related to poor health and administration. And they definitely don’t
“shock” me: they just give me some annoyance. At the end of the day, people
here complain about road conditions and traffic management exactly as I do. So,
what is exactly culture shock? It is the result of a combination of diverse
stressors coming from an unfamiliar setting that is affecting temporarily the
emotional and cognitive balance. It is a natural part of the adaptation process
and each person is affected to a different extent.
If you experience such feelings, I might suggest neither to
be scared or to feel inadequate to the role you are appointed for. Talk to your
line manager and ask for support as soon as the main symptoms appeared. And, in
case you decide to read something about it, rely only on scientific articles or
accurately sourced posts.
